Recently I got so dehydrated from puking that I had to go to an emergency room for iv fluids. However, the iv they put in was really badly placed and the first medicine they gave me made me worse for the next 24+ hours til my barely conscious self was so forthright with the Dr. prescribing to me that whatever med he had me on was not helping.
Looking back, I realize my sister’s friend warned me about this. And if there is one thing I have learned I need to trust is the offered advice from the Universe of the signs that other sensitive women have left for us all to learn from. Everyone else has something to teach us, if we can only pause and open ourselves to the moments of passion that ride the lines of the blurs of reality where we touch each other’s lives. The spaces in between where our apparent single being-ness becomes a clear blur with no real sense of where you end and where I begin… our stories so interwoven from the beginning, with these first 9 months in our Mother’s womb. We are one being, living in 2 different experiences at once. And once you add in the layer of interconnected biochemistry, beyond just the placenta, blood and food we share….
This experience, the details of which I will not get too much into, opened me so deeply. I purged so much of what held me back from standing for myself, with as much patience and appreciation for those around me during my 72+ hour period of being only on IV fluids and purging whatever was toxicifying my system… With more adherence to the structures of sustaining myself coming to the surface, my dance with milk and soy is done. Lighter gluten products still call to me in some ways, but the sugars and the salts and the processed foods have been rightly striped from my diet in exchange again for a pared down and more simple approach to how I allow the different food groups to be combined in my tummy juices.
For those who have never heard of food combining, just look up “food combining Alder Brooke” on Google and you will come to the most beautifully crafted chart and compilation of information to help with your process of simplifying your gastric and colon systems.
My loving and brilliant healer dear friend/ heart sister Tara Alder is the incredible and talented healer who put these charts and the site together in compliment with her hydrotherapy practice and nutritional counseling. This is literally the best information and charting you will find on the web for this topic (which is why she made it! She saw the need and the lack and sought with her massive heart to fill the calling in the world with all that she can offer. <3)
The link is here for connecting directly with the chart, that you can buy laminated and in bight pretty design flow for $15 from her directly: http://www.alderbrooke.com/chart.php
(I miss you btw, even though it has been months since we’ve seen each other face to face or even talked, my loving, gorgeous soul, my friend Tara Alder. <3 IF by chance you do read this! <3)
I am feeling better, still recovering, but the vitamins help and the incredible care from my Naturopathic Dr. Oni are speeding the process and opening my soul to new expanses of experience as I connect with the path that I am being called on, now at a both more crawling and yet faster, rate. The contrast of experience heightens and gets wider as the net of life spreads broader in the sea of possible existences…
I feel pregnant. Puking and crying, feeling awful- looking at my squirming little one on the ultrasound screen doing the spread eagle while still somehow managing to continue to keep the sex of itself a mystery through many different approaches… seeing the little 13 day old girl who was born at 35 weeks in the lobby where we are staying currently, seeing her Father so proudly carry her and show her off and realize the glow off the woman who had so kindly been patient when I followed them in near procession as we both entered the parking lot for the night… the feelings have welled in me, over and over- there is a little life inside of me squirming. And it is interesting how Kyle and I talking helped me realize, yes, I have been feeling the baby move, for a few weeks now- small flutters… and Kyle felt the heart beat last night for the first time. The little one’s fast flutter above the softer thump of my artery. It was beautiful. Its all so real. It’s all so… soon and yet just out of being able to even fully imagine. It is all a feeling still… but yet, it is all the same, completely and utterly real.
Having to fight with the Drs. about how I knew I was feeling what I was feeling in the hospital amplified so much steady certainty in me. I will leave a different system to my child, our children, if it is the only thing I do. I do not know what my contribution will be yet, I hope as profound as my dear friend Tara Alder’s, but my version, my flavor, my add on… my feeling of zest and life and spice and kind, wild love.
I am in the throes of the ocean and I have felt my brushes with mortality in ways I have not previously experienced… and I am more razor focused in my presence- somehow I am even more fully alive than I was before- when I already thought I was fully alive… but the skin has opened new, to deeper layers, not remembered before now… for maybe this is all new and it is all going to be new and the ache is perfect and… YES. Oh yes, my loves, RAW NEW WORLD… I am here. I love you. Thank you. <3 Thank you.