The Dark Mother within me has raised her hackles and howled. The moments when I know I am a terrifying force to be reckoned with pour in from the edges of my reality through interactions with the other to reveal the wholeness rejected along with my dark.
Destruction is creation, Pablo Picasso is credited with stating.
When people see things as beautiful,
ugliness is created.
When people see things as good,
evil is created.
Being and non-being produce each other.
Difficult and easy complement each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low oppose each other.
Fore and aft follow each other.
(From Tao Te Ching)
As my thoughts and mutterings leave a bad taste in my mouth I know the only choice is to surrender into the duality, both this and that- to accept with all my being that both are always true.
I am kind, as I am cruel. I am loving, as I am hateful.
I am lazy, as I work tirelessly. I am that softness we seek, as I am the bed of spines that gouges weakness from skin.
Acceptance of the inevitability of death is to live fully alive.
To honor the innate creative drive, I leave a wave of destruction as my wake.
These weeks have been a calling to embrace my Dark Mother, the oozing sexy, lusciousness of Kali in my core.
If I cannot embrace my Dark, love the womb… The Light will always evade me as I fixate on finding it.
Settle in, lapping power.
I am powerful. I am worthy. I am breath giving life as I am the soul sucking void.
Dark Mother within, I revel in your constant embrace. You have shaken me til I could not longer avoid your gaze lingering from my eyes on my embodied presence this lifetime. You teach me to love what makes me quake in fear. I am learning it is my own rejection I swallow most frequently through the Other, as I resist myself.
I am laid naked of pride, as I notice my worth shine.
The Fire in my belly shouts out my mouth, as my little one suckles my nipples, in utter peace.
Shakti calls me to the new moon seemingly so far away as the full moon illuminates all the chaos calling creation as I walk towards a tomorrow only those who have opened to night vision can see.
Thank you Universe for my agony. I would not be who I am without it- as I would choose to be no one else.
I love you, I scream with blood curdling sobs.
The silence cackles in loving acknowledgement.